Mrslaurenn's Blog

my life as a stay at home mom

yes i am one of those moms August 1, 2009

Filed under: life — misslaurenn @ 4:57 pm
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who picks up her beautifully perfect daughter the very second she cries. yes i tried to let her sleep with us but Mr.hubby nipped that in the bud. But during the day when he is gone where does she nap?! Right next to me in bed, i either nap with her or browse the interwebs or fold clothes or read, or write in here. [: I don’t let anyone else watch her.. our dates always have her along with us. I am too stubborn to let anyone help or ask for help, with anything. there are multiple reasons really: I hate to hear her upset so i do everything i can to make her happy:i think because i have always gone to her when she cries: she trusts me:babies can’t communicate what they want til they are older so i try to focus on figuring out what each cry means:i am a stay at home mommy and i have nothing else to do most of the time.

But really it just comes down to this, i love her more than anything. SHe is my ENTIRE life (aside from my hubby) and i am hers. She loves me more than anyone else!! (sorry daddy) She needs me more than anyone. She wants me above anyone else.

I won’t say i take pleasure in the fact that she cries when i walk away (sometimes i do want me time) but it does make me feel good that she loves me.

But, one day that will change. One day she will not want me this much, one day i will not be her entire life, one day it will not be me that makes her the happiest, one day she will feel she doesn’t need me and doesn’t love me the most. (maybe or maybe not)

But this is all a possibility.

SOooO when she is 16 and screaming at me she wants to go do something when i said no.. and i go to bed that night cuddled up to Mr.Hubby crying that she hates me i will remember these days. When she only wanted me. When we take naps together and she is soo tired but will not go to sleep and the only thing that will comfort her is for me to hold her really close and rub her head and whisper in her ear. Because one day my baby girl will not need me and the thought kills me. It breaks my heart in thousands of pieces.

One day we will have other children.. But she will always be the first the baby girl our miracle baby girl.

So yes, i may not let her out of my sight,yes  i may spoil her, yes i let her use the boob sometimes as a soothing thing, yes i started putting rice formula in her bottle at 2 months old, yes i started giving her fruit at 3 1/2 yes i make up strict schedules for everything, yes she did used to go to bed at 7:30 every night, (she is older now so we extended it to 9) yes my baby dresses better than me, yes i use cloth diapers, yes i did cry the day she started to play by herself, (a cry of thankfulness and sadness) yes i  do all the things people say you shouldn’t. But, i don’t care because i know she is a happy baby and that is ALL that matters!! Lastly yes i will kill you if it meant protecting her. ;]  [:

And yes, i am 100% positive me and my husband could use some alone time, but what would be the point if the whole time we are talking about her and thinking about her. AND BESIDES she is really good when we go out places usually its like she is not even there at all. So, as long as this is the case she will  come along with us everywhere.

bottom line is i love my daughter i love my family. and my husband is not mad about any of this so we are good. because believe me he would in a heart beat tell me if he didn’t like or want me doing something anymore the way i was.

i just thought i would say all this so people would know. look at this face who could do anything less than this anyway.messinround 089