Mrslaurenn's Blog

my life as a stay at home mom

Being Honest With God August 1, 2009

Filed under: life — misslaurenn @ 7:43 pm
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Would you not think we could be completely? He already knows what your thinking? How can you have a true relationship with God, if your not being totally honest with him. (or anyone for that matter) Every time i hear people talking about God and the relationship they have i wonder what kind they have? Me myself i have to often keep myself in check, i get wayy to comfortable. Its like i forget hey this is God the almighty the one that lets be honest if he wanted to can take all i have away. But really, I am not the praying type that my prayers will impact the world. I just have multiple daily conversations with him. When i pray out loud with my husband, sometimes i think i sound like a child. [: I also usually pray with my eyes OPEN.. because otherwise i get off track and distracted and my mind is racing everywhere but where it should be. Has anyone else noticed how no one says we sin anymore? You just hear oh you made a mistake an error a lapse in judgement but you don’t hear i sinned. Which is what you did, call it what it is. SIN!! I think we call it other things because we do not want to think of it as sin, then we would be “bad” people. So we pretend its something else. But, its not. We sin everyday. And i do not think it makes you a bad person. I also do not think we have the right or the authority to say who is bad and who is not. I know people will say all kinds of things about me but… all those people out there mudering and raping and toturing peopel need help. Because they are sick and the devil has just consumed them. Me and my “sister from another mister” were talking about this. I think most people believe in heaven but its like they don’t think of the Devil. I honestly believe someone would have to truly have the devil in their hearts and minds to do these terrible things. So when someone says the devil made me do it, everyone is all like ohh my gosh that is just a cop-out. But, i don’t think so. No person would do these horrible things if God was in their minds and hearts. I try to read a little bit of the bible every morning after my daughter goes down for her nap (no i don’t do it every morning) but i try. I also usually read the same thing over and over until i understand it. Sometimes i even look up the same thing in many other bibles or even research it on the web. But, anyway isn’t it amamzzzing how we can read a book from start to finish in NOO TIME but we cannot seem to read the bible from start to finish. So that is my goal over the next year (a know it seems like a long time but i am trying to make a reachable goal) i want to read the bible from front cover to back. I want to know his word so i can actually have a relationship with him. Not that i think you HAVE to read the whole bible to do this. But i sure think it helps. I want to have a relationship with God i want him to be my Father, My Friend, My Teacher, My Protector, My Everything. I want to go to him with everything i do. If he doesn’t have all of me what is the point?

The other thing that people do not think about or really care. (i myself am guilty) Every choice you make has an impact wayy farther than you can imagine. When me and my now “Mr.Hubby” choose to have sex even though we weren’t married, we choose for it to effect sooo many people. Of course ourselves directly, but also our parents, our siblings, our friends, our extended family (aunts and uncles grandparents) and at first with his family the effect was not good at all. The little girls i have know for 10+ years, were effected. Because i was so close to them they knew i was pregnant and knew we weren’t married. So they questioned that. Then they of course asked their parents so then it affected their parents. It affected my relationship with his family. (its much much better now) But it wasn’t. It was bad for a loong time. Us choosing to have sex and then when i got pregnant meant people thought they knew better than us that they knew we couldn’t raise a baby that we couldn’t be together that we made terrible decisions and they needed to make them now. When we decided to get married that made an impact, it made LOTS of people extremely happy. They were soo glad we decided to get married. (and i think if we had waited we would not have, things aren’t always easy but i think we will be more likely to work them out because we are married) But then there were many more people that were not happy. Many friends that don’t call anymore, that weren’t very “friend acting” at the wedding. Many people thought we should wait, so many people told each of us what a HUGE mistake we are making and that there is probably someone better out there. Many of those people are still not kind to us today. Some family members still are not very nice.  People rub it in my husbands face that they get to go out and party and go out with a different girl every night. All this because We CHOSE to have sex Keep OUR beautiful baby girl and get married. You can never even begin to imagine the impact that these choices have had on soo soo many people. But its not always major decisions that affect people its your everyday things also. Opening a door for someone or letting it close on them, cutting someone off or letting them over, Smiling at someone or saying hello, being nice to those in the customer service industry even when they aren’t. All these things effect people. Wouldn’t you want to make the best affect possible on people. I do. After all the sinful choices i have made in my life i want to make some good ones that positively affect people.

Anyway i don’t know that i hit everything i wanted to in this post. But i have a lot on my mind and i tried getting it all out. I don’t even know if this makes sense at all. Hopefully it does.